For the last couple of months I feel like I crashed and burned. I feel like the rug has been pulled out from underneath me. My body has been screaming for change, relief, rest and healing. In old posts you can glean the gory details...really not so gory and not too many details. I went to a doctor at UCLA who studies stress, the mind and digestive disease. After sitting with me and my husband Joe (who is my prince of healing) for over an hour taking down all the history of the last two months with other doctors, he asks me if I meditate. Joe started explaining what meds I was taking. I said to him, "Joe he didn't ask if I medicate. He asked if I meditate!" I think we were both stunned that a medical doctor asked me such a simple but profound question.
Just as I write this, my former assistant, Michele called. She and her partner moved to South Carolina to a small town to "get back to basics." She explained that she felt so much stress in her life and wanted to connect to the simple things in life, walking on the beach, meditating, contemplating on who she was on a soul level and what is the perfect passionate next step for her to take. These words are simple inspiration for my ears, gut, heart and soul. I inhale the relief at the idea of "going back to basics."
Don't we all say, "I've been so crazy busy!" We profess it like a badge of honor. It's part of our social facade that we have to keep people at arms length, mask what we are really feeling and run from fear which is truly our underlying motivation. The pain in my gut is symbolic of what is going on in the world and my world. I feel like I have swallowed the energy of this planet shifting. Why do I do that? One of my major messages in life is, "I have to work really hard to get what I want in life." Everything must be toil and effort. Somewhere in my consciousness is the big fear that I won't financially survive. What if I get too ill to work and bring money in? It's a bunch of shit that I bought into and a big lie. However, I have swallowed and digested those toxic thoughts again and again and now it's time to poop them out once and for all and not eat them ever ever again!
Today will be my day of meditation and contemplation on what "going back to basics" means to me. It's time for me to discover the real world of beauty, peace, joy, prosperity and give it to myself and then, then give it to the world.
It's my birthday next week, December 20th. The day before the end of the world. I feel that my world as I have seen it, through the lens of struggle, is ending and a new one is beginning. It's my Birth Day! I welcome the new and improved version of me in my new found choice of simple inspiration and going back to basics.
Fearlessly Yours in Love, Inspiration and Joy,
Mary Ann