His Credit Card was Denied...

 This is my blog I meant to put out last night on my 14th day of my 31 days of blog challenge. I got caught up with my two favorite Jack Nicholson movies, Carnal Knowledge and Five Easy Pieces. The second movie I ended up falling asleep and not finishing my blog. So here it is...

While traveling back to Los Angeles we stopped off Interstate 5 at a road side area of super commercialism where everything looks alike. As a friend of mine calls it, "the comonization of America." It's a place where you can trust the names, Starbucks, Subway, McDonald's and more. The idea is that there is a comfort in seeing everything the same, same layout, same decor, same, same same.

So we stopped in one of these areas for gas and a cup of Starbucks Joe. As I was squeegee-ing my front car window as Joe pumped the gas, a man approached me, with credit card and receipt in hand. With sad eyes he looked at me, "My credit card was declined and I need some money to buy gas to get myself to Modesto." My immediate reaction was not to believe him. I have been scammed before by this kind of approach. I dismissed him by saying, "Hey, we are just trying to get ourselves back to LA!" He apologized and said he was sorry to bother me. I watched him approach other people who dismissed him as well. Then I saw him linger by his small, old beat up car parked by a gas pump. Inside the car was a woman holding a baby.

I kept glancing back to see if he would get his gas. I didn't want to let this experience in. It was just too painful to think that he was really telling the truth. We finished our car duties and drove over to Starbucks for coffee. Then I thought, why am I buying coffee when I could have helped them fill their car with gas. Joe and I decided to be frugal and take our refillable coffee container in and get a regular coffee for $1.95 and split it. On the way to San Francisco we splurged and got two large (is that called a Vente in Starbucks language?) and spent almost a whopping $8.00 for two of them. I felt it was such a waste after thinking about the sad man with the woman and baby in the car.

We drove on towards our destination and I became so sad and guilty. Joe and I reviewed the incidence and thought of the different ways we could have helped. Joe pointed out that it wasn't like me to dismiss someone. I usually stop and ask them their story....why was their credit card declined? What was the reason they had no money for gas? I felt sick that I could have helped these people and began to cry. In a moment I saw millions of sad people in our country losing their homes, people depressed from loosing their jobs and just a sense of hopelessness. I wanted to turn back but we were already miles from that gas station.

 

What was a fearless (supposedly) spiritual practicing woman to do? I decided to pray for them and in my mind saw them getting the help they needed and visualized a wonderful wealthy person filling their car with gas and their hearts with gratitude. I felt the gratitude in my heart that our credit card wasn't declined, we could shared a lovely cup of coffee, that we had a car that was reliable and comfortable, and that I had a husband that was sensitive, conscious and supportive. I felt a warm glow of love and light fill my body as we drove through the beauty of the Grapevine on I 5 with mountains covered with snow! I sat in bliss of the beauty of life and knew in my heart that all was well.

What is the fearless lesson for me? To take the time to hear someones story and see how I can help? Yes, but the true lesson is honoring ourselves when we are not in the place where we can physically help or "save" someone in need but know, just know, that they are on their own personal fearless journey and see them in light and in divine perfection. Yes, I hold this man and his family as being taken care of and know that all is well in his life...

And the fearless journey continues....

Yours in walking the fearless path,

Mary Ann